


The pretty boy who wanted too much

by RocioWrites



Category: Ouran High School Host Club - All Media Types
Genre: Multi, POV Second Person
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-02
Updated: 2016-10-02
Packaged: 2018-08-19 03:23:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,464
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8187685
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RocioWrites/pseuds/RocioWrites
Summary: Maybe you’re the one who wants too much, because he’s a boy king who can get it all without even asking.





	

Tamaki, you’re very aware of it, can conquer the world. To be honest, probably all of you could – but there’s something special about Tamaki, about his silky blond hair, about his bright eyes, about his melodic voice with those occasional wise words. Everyone can fall for him, a laugh or a gesture later and they’re kissing the ground he walks on. Good thing Tamaki has such kind soul and tender love.

Or so you think— _hope_. Hope for kindness when you see the subtle blush on Hikaru’s cheeks. When you see the loving looks Kyouya directs at him. When you see Mitsukuni so alive and happy. When you see Haruhi softening at Tamaki’s antics. When you see Kaoru gladly coming out of his shell.

The truth is, you’re afraid. You’re afraid for you all.

You remain stoic while all the others show their loyal affection. And you may try to fool yourself, you may want to believe this is only friendship. But it’s not just something platonic, and you know it. You can tell because Tamaki is a being of light, a lovable person, the right balance between naivety and wisdom. Such a strange combination that works so perfectly, here he is after all, charming everyone.

Someone who has produced _love_ out of an Ootori and has given the Hitachiin twins the right push to become their own persons— someone like that musn’t be taken lightly. You don’t. You know better.

You remain silent and watch, you watch how they all orbit towards Tamaki, sweet and silly King of this make-believe kingdom. You’re there to watch Mitsukini trying to steal his own happiness away from himself, and you’re there to watch Tamaki bring it back with tender words and smiles. You remain silent, faithful, devoted. That’s just how you are.

You guess this is how all of you are, fated to fall for this boy king, angelic in a way that washes away everything else. You wonder if he does it on purpose, does he even know? Is he even thinking about consequences?

You, much like the rest of his true acolytes, know that despite his foolishness, Tamaki is still very smart, quite observant. He perhaps doesn’t realize that profound adoration but he surely is clever enough to notice – and even encourage it in some degree.

He has a lot of power over the powerful, all of you are the future along with him. And Tamaki has the ability to twist your destinies, to tie you together, to make it all worth it. That’s why you hope and wish above all for his kindness, for him to give back what he gets. And he gets so much out of you all.

There’s a part of you that wishes for Tamaki to end here. However, deep down, you only want for him to become the new religion you glimpse on everyone’s eyes. Vibrant and bright and hopeful.

You _understand_.

Because Tamaki is special and you love him intently too.

*

Pale creamy skin has driven so many lustful devils into wars that shouldn’t have happened and here you are, inspecting the exposed nape of no other than this illusive King that rules with tenderness.

There was a time when you lost yourself in thoughts of (another kind of) silky blond hair and child-like beauty. It was replaced briefly by wicked grins and red hair. You did your time pinning after steel-sharp eyes and clinical efficiency too. Haruhi was there to break the sequence, all practicality and natural allure.

Tamaki, at last, receives the veneration. Not only yours, but everyone’s. You see the appeal, you bite your lips to remain silent. He’s a charming angel, you all want him.

It makes you want to cry.

*

His lips are holy. Haruhi kisses them so carefully it breaks your heart into a thousand pieces. It does something similar to Hikaru’s – it’s written in his face, in his heavy and fake indifference.

You wonder if he can tell his jealousy isn’t like that at all. He’s sad, perturbed, angry, but that’s because he isn’t part of that aspect of Haruhi and Tamaki’s relationship.

Kyouya has always been on the rational side, you catch him somber and destroyed nonetheless. He nods at you but he’s not really there. You catch him, guide him a bit. You hug him, ignoring Kaoru just staring at you both from the other side of the Third Music Room.

You hoped for kindness just because of this. Tamaki isn’t the angel you want him to be— he’s out of his mind. Handling you all with neglect.

You suffer. Because Mitsukuni suffers too. He hides it, trying to be the strong one, the best version of himself to show your underclassmen. Yet, he’s hurt and disappointed and he hates himself for it because he knows it’s not his place but he can’t help it. You can’t take it either, these stingy feelings, this ache. The way they look so dreamily at Tamaki, a fake promise of love that can’t hold you all together in the end.

They love with such intensity that it’s scary, you wonder how Tamaki can stand it. They bathe Tamaki in affection – each on their own way. Haruhi treats him with respect and adoration, as if he’s this feeble thing, all fragile and translucent skin with bright eyes and kissable lips.

But she’s so self-aware too. You _know_. It makes all your foundations tremble and crumble under the weight of raw honesty.

Mitsukuni smiles with a tinge of sadness. Hikaru retreats into himself, becoming depressed. Kyouya goes back to being cynically cold. Kaoru fakes more than ever, all flirty lines and blushes that go nowhere. You remain silent, patient— you keep hoping for Tamaki’s mercy.

Haruhi notices all of this much like you do. Somehow you’re all playing a game which no one knows the rules of. She takes Tamaki’s hand oh so cautiously just to let it go, just to hug Tamaki goodbye – in a silent promise of loving him just as much as all of you do.

It breaks your heart.

It breaks _you_.

*

Tamaki – in the same way as you – thinks Haruhi is lying, it’s impossible she stopped loving him. But Haruhi is anything if not kind, a compassionate soul who has become so aware of everyone else’s feelings. Tamaki is right but she is right too.

Hikaru is destroyed by this break-up, Kyouya and Koaru doesn’t get it. Mitsukuni refuses to understand. You choose once again to remain silent, to watch all of this unfold. You are, after all, too loyal to intrude.

You – in the same way as Tamaki – delude yourself. This silly soft King is nothing but the world for you six. All emotional and impulsive teenagers.

However, he keeps trying. It’s astonishing how he pursues Haruhi leaving her exhausted and weak, while at the same time never ignoring everyone else. It’s the kind of attention an earthly god offers to his acolytes, and you all bask in it, soaking in, absorbing Tamaki’s beauty and warmth.

You love Tamaki so much you could never judge him. To be honest, you love Haruhi so much too, you could never deprive her of anything either. All of you do.

And there’s a truth you all come to know.

This truth is that Tamaki needs Haruhi to function just as much as Haruhi needs Tamaki, wholly, guiltless. A blame you could never put upon her. Mistukuni, in the same fashion, regains his composure and accepts this readily – because Tamaki has never deserted his boy king's throne.

Kyouya makes peace with it too. You are amazed. And convinced that Haruhi landed in your lives to be this beacon of hope, of benevolence.

The twins are the last to get on with the new development. You wonder if Kaoru actually resigned himself before and now he simply _glows_ at this new prospect of possibilities. Hikaru lets himself be dragged by this wave of undiscovered feelings, drunkenly glad.

You all are bathed in this new regained love for Tamaki and Haruhi.

You love them intently too.

*

Your hope was misplaced.

Tamaki and Haruhi marry.

This wasn't the plan, this wasn't what was supposed to happen.

You love and you _break_.

*

*

It was a journey, you guess. It still is, exciting and ever-changing. Thinking about all of those involved, it could never be boring or static.

You all change in some manner.

Tamaki doesn’t really.

He is still your King, boyish and merry, all silky hair and bright eyes. All promises and smiles.

You’re sure he has shown and proven his kindness, again and again. When he took Haruhi to himself – and for all of you. When he kissed Kyouya on the cheek and guided him to his altar, a cute woman waiting for him. When he confessed in front of everyone how much he liked the twins, one brunet and one red-headed now. When once again, he reminded Mitsukuni about his sweet heart and why he should never ignore it.

When he oh so tenderly let you down.

Because Tamaki never abandoned his throne made of this devotion you all profess. However, you were the one picking up the pieces after him.

You hugged Haruhi close to your chest when she finally understood that Tamaki did love everyone – and everyone loved him back. And it was hard to do anything else when they were drunk and watching Kyouya going down on him at his own bachelor party.

She denies remembering anything, that night didn’t happen, the memories don’t exist. A part of you is happy Hikaru had half the mind to not take pictures.

You chose to try and make Mitsukuni happy, on your own. You don’t care it didn’t end well— it was beautiful while it lasted. A total amount of a few cheerful months. Until the crushing truth caught up with both of you. It dissolved into nothing then, a sadness that wasn’t quite capable of filling the void that only Tamaki could satisfy.

Mitsukuni made it either way. A lovely woman loves him now and he does his best to reciprocate. And if it ever comes to family members asking about why you two aren’t so close anymore in this or that reunion, it’s just how life goes, right? You grow up and it’s inevitable, things can’t remain the same. These days, Mistukuni explains all this with a childish smile, holding his girl’s hand. You nod along and pretend.

You were Kyouya’s lawyer when he harshly decided with his heart in the end and divorced that poor woman who was in love with something Kyouya isn’t. You were his friend and support, you guided him a bit again, feeling as if you were both teens again – foolish and desperate.

Here, you took your picture. Kyouya is a fallen angel when he’s comfortably sleeping, in peace and relaxed. You burned that memory on your brain, and decide to ignore the ecstatic face, the doped smile, the tears that came before.

Hikaru took it the worst, you’re sure. Or Kaoru did but he’s a master of deception – he keeps himself away from the drama, playing pretend, having lovers here and there. He locked himself in his world for two, his twin still out. You tried to approach him once but the fake flirting and the badly hidden need chased you away. Hikaru, on the other hand, moved to Europe and then, on the off chance of Tamaki touring _somewhere_ in that continent, left for USA. You never have the courage to ask where exactly. Sometimes Haruhi says he’s in New York, sometimes Kaoru mentions South American countries. Sometimes Mitsukuni drops Mexico easily. Sometimes Tamaki asks and Kyouya glares at him, replying that Hikaru is a weak man who prefers to move a lot.

Tamaki never gets it.

But you do, oh you do. And you wish you had Hikaru’s determination.

*

*

Haruhi is the most rational devotee you’ve seen. There’s a resentment there, she doesn’t want to show it but it’s quite evident. From time to time you see her dull and tiny – it isn’t a nice sight.

Kyouya is a good friend, and almost as rational as her (just not that much when it comes to Tamaki). He comforts her from time to time. They bond over their shared love and disappointment. You know they love each other too, but their King – your King also – is a stronger presence.

Sometimes you wonder if Hikaru and Kaoru were like this, connecting with each other on a different level thanks to this. Then, you remember casually, absentmindedly, that one twin has fled physically, moving to another continent— _twice_ ; and the other twin, has fled emotionally, lying to himself and the rest, faking and distancing himself from this drama.

You’re in the middle of all this, you suppose. Tamaki is your boy king, with all his failures and virtues, with all the love and concern he has produced out of you, out of the others.

Tamaki, you knew it from the very beginning, is special. Light and incredibly earthy while at the same time, god-like and unreachable.

You all reached him though. On your own ways. And you all put him on an altar, above mere mortals. He has been kind, he has loved you, he has loved others, he has broken you, he has broken others, he has put pieces back together, he has tied you together and yet, he has – in a way – lost you all.

*

You remain silent.

Tamaki and Haruhi are still married, with occasional affairs. It’s incredible that Kyouya can still fall so easily for them at any given moment.

Kaoru has settled in Europe, a new cat in his atelier for every lover he uses and disposes.

Mitsukuni marries his girlfriend in a beautiful wedding, white dress and white suit. He cries when Tamaki hugs him.

Hikaru— you’re not sure. You pry out of cold lips and searching hands that he probably is living in Canada, with a daughter you never knew he had.

You… you don’t move forward nor backward. You just wonder how Tamaki gets it all and nothing at all at the same time. You remain stoic, motionless. That’s who you are, that’s maybe why this went to hell, you never did anything to stop them, to actually change, to truly protect them, to chase Kaoru or Hikaru or even claim Kyouya.

You never did anything to profess this devotion differently. Or to prevent the others from doing the same. You never tried to talk to Tamaki about it, about how you had so much hope in him, in this, how you broke and he half-repaired you with tender words and sweet smiles.

_You didn’t get anything because you never did anything._

_And Tamaki did everything._

**Author's Note:**

> I’m sorry? I don’t know how this happened. I wanted to write something angsty with Mori and it became this thing where Tamaki is loved by everyone and still, it destroys their relationship??? I don’t know guys, just sorry (ﾉ*ﾟДﾟ)ﾉ


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